"What's the Point?": 3 Deadly Words and A New Lease on Life

5 years.

That's how long it's been since I was actively taking care of myself, on a daily basis.

2 years.

That's how long I completely let myself go and allowed myself to fall into full on "screw it all" mode with my fitness.

If you've been a blog reader here and or have read my book  then you know I've had a _lot_ of knee surgeries over the years.  2 years ago I was hired to lead a conditioning and skills camp for a high school boy's soccer team.  Most of the time I'm hired to operate a "hell week" to run people off.... which I love ;)  During this week, while I was out of shape and had already let myself get too far out of bounds, I still had to play.  I. Can't. Help. It.  Much to my wife's chagrin.... but that's for another blog, lol

Anyway, there rolled a 50/50 ball and my foot met the ball at the exact same instant as one of the kid's foot met the ball.  Standard fare.  Only my knee cap slid out to the side of my leg and hung... it got stuck.  So, there I was, on the field, with my knee cap locked to the outside of my leg, decisively where it was _not_ supposed to be.  I grit my teeth, grabbed it with both hands, rolled hard one way while I pulled with hands the other, all while trying to relax the muscles (ha!), and I was able to pop it back into place (about 15 minutes later).  The physical damage sucked, it scrambles everything around when this happens and then "freezes" your quad as well.  The psychological damage is what I let take over, though.  I was done.  I told myself that was it.  I was washed up, I was old (I wasn't), and what I let ring in my ears over and over again was the death nail of "what's the point?"

What's the point?  What's the point of rehab if you're just going to do it again?  What's the point in getting your mileage back up if you're only going to get hurt again and have to start all over?  What's the point in pushing in the gym when you're going to inevitably have another surgery that will cause you to lose all your gains and go back to square one, again?  What's the point?  Those three words froze me in time.  It wasn't pretty.

I lost my engine, lost my gains, lost my drive, lost my fire, lost my desire to run, lost my push to workout, lost my ability to write this blog, and I gained about 30 pounds of pure body fat.  All from 3 little words.  My words, in my own head, my three deadly words: "What's the point?"

In my next blog I'm looking forward to detailing a bit of how I came out of that 3 word hole and where I am now (pics included...)

Don't give up.  It's worth it.  You will get hurt.  You will get injured.  You will have setbacks.  You will start over.  And, most importantly, you will have Life.