If we're honest, sometimes it rears its ugly head in unlikely places.
For instance, right now I'm getting up at 4:55am, just enough time to throw on clothes, grab my shoes, and be at the gym by 5:30am. So... I'm working out at 5:30am. AND being lazy.
5:30am anything, let alone a workout, doesn't usually coincide with laziness, BUT IT CAN.
See, I've been getting up, pushing myself to not "accidentally" turn the alarm off, getting up, and getting my butt to the gym, even with a spouse, 2 kids, and a full-time job that sometimes keeps late hours... but once I would get there, I was just... there.
I did my reps, sure, but this form of laziness wasn't about reps, no,
This form of laziness was about pacing instead of pushing
I was focused on doing what was required, at best, and doing what "I could" (at worst) in order to complete the day. I didn't want to burn out so I'd pace myself, I didn't want to not be able to finish my reps so I'd drop weight, I didn't want to have to break sets so I'd walk between stations, I didn't want to "be caught" off my game so I'd start a second or 2 late and
This morning was the breaking point.
We had a workout outside in the gorgeous East Tennessee weather and it was a dozen station circuit, 60 seconds on the station, 12 seconds to get to the next station and be ready to go. I didn't know how many circuits we were going to do, I didn't know how I'd fatigue at each different movement, and my legs were already destroyed from 2 heavy leg days in a row, so I paced myself. Understand, if you haven't figured this out already, that when I say "pace" I just mean "went stupid slow at 50% exertion like a punk".
As we lined back up at our first stations to hit the circuit again it hit me.
My own voice.
But Not the voice of "Levi" that I'd been using in my self-talk, not me in a class, me having someone be my trainer for the first time since my last coach 15 years ago, not me who was doing someone else's workout that I didn't have to program.... but I (finally) heard the voice of "Coach Dodd"
I heard me, my coach voice, my trainer voice, my "hell week" voice, yelling at dozens and dozens and dozens of athletes over the last 10 years.
I saw my Coach self looking at me on those previous circuit stations I had just completed with disgust and pity.
I could hear my coach self yelling at this shell I had allowed myself to become this morning:
"Make it worth it!"
"You got up this morning and showed up and this is what you're going to give me?!"
"You aren't cheating me, you're only cheating yourself, and if you're just going to cheat yourself quit now and go take up something more your speed, like checkers"
"Suck it up buttercup!"
"Why are you hear? You better have a reason other than me - you better have a reason for YOU or you're just wasting out time"
"Dig deep!"
"Don't quit!"
"Use Every second, work Every rep, run Through every line"
"Use Every second, work Every rep, run Through every line"
"Last 5!"
"Who are you going to be Today?"
"Come on, let's go, grind!"
"One. More. Rep."
Take back your workouts, take back your runs, take back that squat rack, take back your time. Let us all stop wasting away while we're lying to ourselves about putting in work. Just because we get up earlier, or do more work, and sweat more than the other person, or even if we workout more than 80% of the "friends" on all our social media lists - hear me now - Who Cares.
That's not a question.
It's a statement that you know the answer to. Being better than that guy/girl, doing more than your coworkers, putting in more effort than your instagram followers who don't workout... So what. Your competing against yourself. You're racing yourself. You're fighting yourself.
So even if I outpace someone next to me, even if someone else caught a glimpse of something that they thought was impressive, if it's not my best effort, if it's not my max ability, if it doesn't bring about failure from exhaustion, than...
what did I get up for?
