MIA

First off, let me thank all of you.  All of the readers, researchers, and supporters who visit this blog everyday and for your emails and notes - I Love them (keep them coming!)

I have been MIA lately and want to apologize and dive back in!

Several factors resulted in my disappearance (job and family - so many things going on that I just couldn't come up for air and in those times, things that aren't my wife and my daughter get the boot until I can reset), but one reason has been a bit of a personal (running related) issue that I've been keeping pretty locked up.

I've had asthma from the time I was a toddler.  Over the years I was able to push and fight and condition (playing year round soccer) and 'beat' it for a long time (Please hear me - this is NOT saying that 'if you just got in better shape you wouldn't have asthma' consult your doctor for Everything, this is Not often the case... keep reading).  I went about 6 years or so without ever having to carry an inhaler.  However, after college I took some lazy time, stopped playing soccer all the time, got busy with life and didn't keep running, and my asthma returned.  I was able to keep it at bay with the doctors help as I did my part as best I could.  I've always had it.  I've never talked about it.  I've tried to not let it stop me anymore than it had to.

This past 9 months or so it's been increasingly more troublesome.  The week before Christmas I came down with walking pneumonia and it just crippled me.  I was down for almost a month and 1/2 where I went from my short 6 mile 'comfort' runs to I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without being out of breath.  After the 3 months I began to rebuild (those with Asthma know - after you have a bought like that you basically have to start from ground zero and build Everything back).  Then I took a trip out of town and had an asthma attack like I hadn't had in probably 20 years:  fingertips turned blue, lips went numb, the whole bit.  Luckily I was on the trip with a lot of close friends (one of whom is a State Trooper - handy man to have around when you have to get somewhere fast!) who rushed me to the ER. The doctors took great care of me and after steroid shots, adrenaline, breathing treatments, and about 10 days of oral steroids I was okay.  But it was a big hit.  Physically my lung capacity was shot.  My runner lungs were just gone and my resting heart rate of ~40 would now spike walking to the end of the driveway.  It took a big toll on me mentally in that it was so stressful, so frustrating... and what do we do when we get stressed or frustrated?  We run.  And I couldn't.

These events have all just played out and are still playing out.  My years of not carrying an inhaler have turned into several times a week, and that's when I'm just going through my normal life without getting to run at all.

I'm ready to turn it around, but everytime I take a few steps, I get hammered back -- I Will turn this around, I will beat this (me), I will run, I will escape - but it's tough, and it's frustrating, and (until now) I've largely kept this hidden.

I appreciate so much your support and prayers -- more blogs coming!

-Levi